Raising 21st Century Kids on a Farm

Chores, Mud, Germs, Responsibility…is it too much for the modern 21st century kid?

Nah. We don’t think so.

It may seem like a novel concept these days, but if you look around, it’s really not that rare. Teaching our children life lessons, whether you live on a farm or not, is really a big chunk of parenting, is it not?

How I Raise My Kids Probably Looks Different Than Your Method…And That’s Ok

I really get sick of seeing very one sided posts and graphics on parenting. Social media is full of them! Either you are a terrible parent for yelling at your kid, or you are too relaxed and will ruin them by spoiling them. I have always been the type to research things, and over the six years I’ve had kids, I’ve taken little nuggets from different “methods”.

Let me introduce you to how we like to raise them here on our little farm! Like I stated before, you can raise your young’uns differently, and that is OK. This post is not meant to disagree or degrade your personal choices…because I probably don’t know your personal choices! I just want to share mine. I have also asked some friends to weigh in on the topic of chores, learning, and responsibility. If you want to share your advice, please comment below!

How to Have Happy, Well-Balanced Children

Could or should I even make this claim in a simple blog post? Haha. Probably not. Some days here on our little homestead are certainly happy and well-balanced. Sometimes all the school gets done, the house is cleaned by eager little helpers, and a special dinner is served to grateful mouths. Other times…not so much. Maybe you can relate.

However, I do believe that giving our children extra responsibilities, playing in the mud, and expecting them to succeed are some important farm lessons that we are striving to teach. We believe this is a good way to make them happy, healthy, and well adjusted little people.

In some way we shelter our kids. But in other ways we do not. I think each parent should definitely get to decide this for their individual child. For example, we may not let our kids watch a certain TV show, but we will let them watch a chicken be butchered. Some parents may gasp at that…while we think it is just fine.

I don’t freak out if my kid is handling worms…while I would be very uncomfortable if they were licking the shopping cart at the store. I let them go barefoot in the mud but I always make them scrub their hands when they get home from town. It’s just the way I do things. We call “town germs” bad and mud germs good. Haha.

Differences in a Farm Kid vs Non-Farm Kid

I was wanting to enlighten folks on the differences between kids raised on a farm around animals vs. kids who are not.

Farm kids are exposed to these things quite frequently:

-animal poop

-animal birth

-animal death

-animal mating

-dirt, dirt, and more dirt

-fresh garden produce: unwashed

-potential injuries related to animals, sharp objects, rocks, trees, garden tools, tractors, you name it…

And it’s not a rarity or something that we are shocked about. My kids are used to seeing animals in all their forms. They love on new baby goats, pet a sick chicken gently, then help their daddy dispose of something that has died. It happens all the time. They know that life is amazing, yet life ends…and it’s not much of a shock. That may sound awful, but in a world where death is so scary and feared, it is important to know early on that it is inevitable. It sure makes for some great conversations about what happens when a living thing dies.

Same with how life begins! It’s been so much easier explaining how baby’s come into the world when they have already seen it firsthand from their goats! All I have to say is, “You remember when Rosemary had her babies? That’s how they come out.” The circle of life is not so confusing when you are four and you already know what’s up.

I’m not looking down on anyone for not having shared these experiences with their kids…I’m just here to tell ya…a trip to a farm and learning about life cycles is very beneficial and saves my sanity!

All of those things were related to animals, basically. My little boys are not afraid of animals, but they know to respect them and not try to pet just anything. It’s important even if you live somewhere with no animals…to know to give a strange animal personal space. No kid should walk up to a dog and start petting it without knowing whether it will bite or not. It’s just a good lesson to learn.

“Sorry My Kids Are Disgusting.”

I don’t know how many times I’ve said this when someone has been over at my house! At first I’m a little embarrassed that it looks like my child has been eating mud pies. But then I realize that it’s going to be ok.

My boys aren’t squeamish in the least about dirt. When they are crawling around as babies, I let them explore in the yard. I let them play in the mud. They love it!

They are also building up a great immune system! I wholeheartedly believe this to be true. There is a whole study based on your gut biome, and even a book I read a few years ago by Dr. Josh Axe called Eat Dirt. He explains how we have come to live in such a sterile environment where everything must be Clorox’d and Windex’d and Lysol’d and in turn we have ruined our natural good bacteria in our bodies. The way to get some good bacteria back in? Play in the dirt! Hug your dog! Go barefoot! All the things that naturally happen on a farm are proving to be the healthiest for our bodies.

The “Be Careful” Conundrum

I read something online from several friends who had posted from some childhood expert somewhere. I’m sorry I can’t remember where I saw this! But it was about allowing your child to explore, specifically outdoors, without saying “be careful!” every 30 seconds. I liked this concept.

Now, I’m not saying to let your kid run headlong down a cliff without warning them! Not at all! But when they are exploring around hills or sticks…I shouldn’t be hollering at them to be careful at every move they make. The premise of this idea was for the kid to learn how to be careful without mommy shouting at them. I liked this. I really enjoy not saying be careful about every.little.thing. Do you agree?

On the farm, there is great potential to get hurt. Do I shelter my kids from every figuring out that hey, that nail is sharp? Or do I let them touch it, without getting seriously injured, and let them see for themselves that yes, this nail is pointy and if it sticks through a board, it can stick through me! They learn to watch out for themselves without me hovering and telling them. My thinking is this: what if I’m not there to tell them to watch out for nails? They need to know this on their own, for sure.

Will it hurt if I jump off this hill into the thorn bushes? Yes it will. Do I warn them about it? Maybe. But if they are going to do it anyway, they might as well learn that lesson, too.

I hope you understand what I’m saying and do not think I’m an advocate of child neglect. I am ALWAYS around my kids when we are outside. If there is a serious danger, you better believe I passionately let them know not to be around it.

Farm kids vs. non farm kids: The Similarities

I didn’t want ya’ll to think that farm kids are somehow superior to their non farmed counterparts. I don’t think that at all. As a matter of fact, they are very similar. Here’s how:

-they love to learn

-they love watching new things grow

-they love to run and play

-they are curious

-they have a million questions

-they are all super smart

-they all have equal chances of being a successful adult

All little ones love the opportunity to learn and grow and play. Playing is the best form of learning, in my opinion! Whether that is seeing firsthand how potatoes are planted; to watching it on a show. They soak in information like crazy.

My kids play on our farm for hours at a time. Just doing their own thing. Like any other child does. They are essentially the same, with equal brains and opportunities if they are presented to them.

The Chores: Controversial or Not?

Onto the part of the post that I needed some help with. I reached out to my Instagram buddies and asked their opinions on kids and chores, specifically on the farm.

Because farm chores are different in nature than house chores. But some of the same lessons can be learned.

Here is some wisdom imparted by my homesteading friends:

-Lead by example. Have them watch everything you do! They catch so much.

-Make sure they have boots and grubby clothes for all the mud.

-Let any fear of germs slip away. They will get dirty! Never let your kids do farm chores in nice clothes!

-Work as a family. Keep it fun and never assume that a task is “too complicated” for a child to complete.

-Start teaching when they are young. As a family, each person has certain responsibilities and jobs. It is helpful to assign specific jobs for each child. This helps them feel important and like they have an area or chore they are responsible for.

-Sit down with your kids and ask which chores they enjoy doing and allow that chore to be theirs. They own the responsibility.

-Show your kids that it’s ok to do hard things. Let them see you doing hard things, and invite them to join you! We learn and grow in the hard things.

-Let them do chores as soon as they can walk. Toddlers can restock diapers and wipes, can clear napkins from the table, and take responsibility and be proud of their job.

-Something as simple as holding the egg basket while gathering eggs can help even the tiniest helper feel like they are doing their part.

-Sometimes we don’t want to do our chores. The sooner they learn this, the easier it will be when they are adults.

Here’s the original Instagram post to see the contributors and the responses:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CMPXK8Ah3TJ/

What the Farm Kids Have to Say About All This

My kids would rather be playing outside than sitting in the house. If you were to ask what they like to do best, it would be feeding the animals and getting the eggs.

In the summertime, they are running in the garden until dark. They come inside dirty and ready for a bath then a good night’s rest! Being in the garden and picking the actual food themselves encourages healthy eating! They love to know that they helped contribute to the meal. I don’t know how many times I’ve said, “That was the radish you picked! Great job, now we can eat it and it is yummmmy!”

It’s a good life, living on the farm. For Mama it is good, and for the kids it is good. We are certainly thankful for the opportunity to live where we do.

For more articles on homesteading, visit Farm Life.